Combat: Round 1!
You're fighting mr skullhead's butt
You stare at the photocopy, wondering why mr skullhead had to sign their name on their photocopied butt, when suddenly the butt leaps out of the copy and attacks you!
May I suggest a rebuttal in the form of butt battering, lest you be the butt of the joke?
You get the jump on it.
You summon a ghastly batch of eldritch fettucini, which strikes your opponent for 99879 damage.
SevenLances.com inducts it into the clubbed club, bashing it for 70 damage.
You win the fight!
You gain 15 Strengthliness.
You gain 17 Mysteriousness.
You gain 52 Roguishness.