A Natty Blue Ascot is the neckwearrr for me
because of my battles on the high Seven Seas.
Whether sacking a town or attacking Hippies,
An Ascot round my neck would brrring my foes to their knees!
"But why does a pirate need a scarrrf?" you may ask,
And I'll reply by hanging you upside-down from my mast.
Some may say that the item in question is forrr pansies and queers.
But a Natty Blue Ascot is the perfect addition to my Swashbuckling gearrr.
Imagine a skirrrmish on the oceans abroad,
Another captain and I, whose crews are at odds.
Cutlasses clashing!
Cannons are blasting!
Muskets are firing!
Crew members are dying!
Finally, I decide, enough is enough!
I'm going after their captain, and it's time to get rrrough.
I hack and slash my way through the crrrowd,
The scrrreams of my foes couldn't be any more loud.
I finally confront the enemy captain,
And as I charge him he just starts laughin'.
"You can't defeat me, you arrrogant fool!"
But then I remember my wonderful tool.
I reach in my shirrrt , and pull my Blue Ascot out.
This battle is mine to win, without any doubt.
Time slows as I raise the silk cloth into the airrr.
All my foe can do is give a frrrightful stare.
My gun crrrew sees this, awaiting the signal.
They take aim at my enemy . Oh, his odds arrre abysmal.
He knows he has lost, he knows that I've won.
But this knowledge won't save him from my 40-pounderrr gun.
I snap my arrrm down in a firing motion,
And the cannon blast sends him flying into the ocean.
Me and my crew sail off in the night,
And celebrate ourrr victory after the fight.
I admire my ship's flag, that old Jolly Rogerrr,
Me and my Ascot will send many to Davy Jones' lockerrr.
