flaming juggler's balls
Okay, first off, whatever anatomical jokes you're thinking of, just drop them, okay? Good. This is a set of three balls of frozen flame -- I said drop it! This is a set of three spherical throwing implements of frozen flame. They're enchanted such that, so long as two of them are in the air at any given time, they'll deal an impressive amount of damage to any enemy. See, and your mom told you those clown college classes would never pay off.
Type: ranged weapon (1-handed )
Power: 100
Cannot be discarded
Enchantment:
+10 Hot Damage
+2 Stat(s) Per Fight
NOTE: This item cannot be equipped while in Hardcore.
flaming familiar doppelgänger
This is a tiny life-form molded out of magical frozen flame. When a familiar holds it, it forms itself into a miniature replica of the familiar. As the doppelgänger mimics the familiar's movements, it transmutes the experience it gains to the familiar. Unfortunately, the doppelgänger's mute mimicry tends to enrage monsters. No one's sure why.
The upshot of this is, of course, that your familiar gains more experience per combat, and fights angrier monsters, when it has the doppelgänger as its equipment. That such an insanely useful creature should exist has been widely regarded as the definitive argument against the existence of God.
Type: familiar equipment
Cannot be discarded
Enchantment:
+5 to Monster Level
NOTE: This item cannot be equipped while in Hardcore.
evil flaming eyeball pendant
This lovely pendant, handcrafted from mystical frozen flame, is sure to make you the envy of all your friends and the scourge of all your enemies. It's molded to look exactly like that most famous of flaming evil eyes -- yes, my first-grade teacher, Mrs. Persimmon. Its rage will propel you ever more quickly into battle, and its diabolical wink is sure to gaffle you more meat per combat.
Now how much would you pay?
Type: accessory
Cannot be discarded
Enchantment:
Combat Initiative +15%
+15% Meat from Monsters
NOTE: This item cannot be equipped while in Hardcore.
liar's pants
This is a pair of pants made out of eerie, eldritch frozen fire. What, exactly, is a "pant?" Is it, like, one leg, one buttcheek, and half of a fly? Anyway, these pants will look equally stylish covering up your nether regions or hanging up on a telephone wire.
Type: pants
Power: 100
Cannot be discarded
Enchantment:
+10 Hot Damage
NOTE: This item cannot be equipped while in Hardcore.
